About this time 3 years ago I went back to work after having Carson. I had worked or gone to school since Riley was 5 months old. It was a lot easier for me to head into the workforce after having her, with the way our schedules were, we both worked full time yet she was only with the sitter (a good friend who was great with kids and loved them so much I probably could have talked her into paying me to watch my little Porcelain Doll) for 15-20 hours a week. When I returned after having Carson, he went to a nice lady who I met through high recommendations, who had a licensed home daycare, and he was there for 40 hours every week. I was looking forward to going back to work, to adult conversation, to the foccacia grilled chicken sandwich with curried mayo and mango chutney I would always get at our lunches at Moxies. Now its 7am and I'm craving a bellini. I'll blame it on the move.
Also, at this time, Riley was 6 years old. She knew I would be there by 5:30 pm, all Carson knew was his mommy abandoned him and wasn't there when he cried out for her, a strange lady with bright red hair was coming instead.
The first time I had to drop off my baby for 10 hours was also the first time my heart broke into a million pieces. Every day that I had to drop him off it would happen again. I would see my kids for 2.5 hours every night, 5 days a week. They aren't babies forever. I wanted what so many of us want, a few more hours in the day, more time.
When I was at work, all I would do was think about my little Fry Guy. I was miserable. I wanted to get home and crawl into bed wtih my kiddos and snuggle them until we repeated the cycle the next day. I had never wanted to be a SAHM, I wanted to have everything, the career, the family, and balance it all perfectly. At this point in my life, fuck the job, I just wanted my babies. So, on Fathers Day morning, we were lying in bed, and Chad told me for Fathers Day he wanted me to quit my job, that our house wasn't the same anymore, and my kids needed their mom at home.
How lucky was I?
Three months later we were extremely broke and I was a bit bored. I looked into ways to make money from home, I could design simple web pages, nothing fancy, and had no desire to watch children as was recommended to me by so many people. (Why? I have no idea, I'm totally not a kid person. Sure, I love my kids to death, but other peoples kids? Every day? Oh hell no. Why is it that if you're a SAHM people automatically assume you want to watch other children?) I thought about direct marketing companies, but was unsure. When I was 22 I had signed up to become a consultant for a very popular candle company. It was hard to do anything with it because everyone and their Grandma had already had a party, and I couldn't think of how I could possibly stand up in front of a room and talk about candles and candle holders and candle scents and convince people to spend their hard earned money on a $50 freaking candle holder. But, my friends and my family bought the $50 candle holders with the $12 tealights because they supported me in trying to make a bit of extra cash. I knew there was money to be made in direct sales, but I knew I couldn't do it with candles. Back then, 9 years ago now, I told myself that if there was ever a new direct sales company coming to Canada, that already had done awesome in the states, I wanted to get on that bandwagon. And for the past 9 years I've been watching direct sales companies, you all know the big names, and those women who were at the top, they were just average women like me, who happened to get in at the right time. I know there are lots of women who could get into any business and make it succeed, but I'm not one of those women, I don't like to be pushy, I don't want someone to be unhappy with their purchase, nor feel pressured to buy it.
I started to think about adult home party plans and researched them. One in particular was always on the news because of a consultant arrested for selling vibes, and thought, that sounds like the perfect company for me. I liked the company because it wasn't taudry, it was a little bit naughty, but never nasty, and promoted relationships and education, not fetish and kink. I researched the crap out of it, figured out what the average consultant was making, looked at how much they had grown in the past 3 years, and signed up.
OK, it wasn't that simple. First, I had to come up with $400 for the start up kit. It took 3 months to save that chunk of change. I also had to convince my husband it was a good idea. My friends, they all said 'OMG YOU WOULD BE SO PERFECT FOR THAT', my husband rolled his eyes at the thought and avoided the subject. Three weeks after first approaching him on the subject he said to me one night, 'when you demo the products, you don't actually have to 'DEMO THE PRODUCTS' do you?' Oh how I laughed. I don't know if I was laughing harder at the fact that he actually thought I'd have to literally show women how a vibrator worked, or that for three weeks this was going over and over in his mind, and he was trying to figure out exactly how liberal he was. I assured him that no, these sorts of activities don't happen at the parties, he was all gung ho on the vibrator train. When my kit came he declared himself Head of Marketing and Research.
I plodded away for 9 months or so, slowly plugging my business, but not doing much, expecting everything to fall into my lap, because, hello, I sell vibrators! I am THE HOOK UP, PEOPLE!
The summer of 2004 we looked at our finances and my healed heart started to crack again knowing that if I didn't pull my shit together, in September I would have to head back to work or we'd be bankrupt. It was Carsons second birthday, August 4, 2004, and I recommited myself to my business. I worked it like a job, not a hobby, every day.
In April of 2005 I became the third Executive Director with the company in Canada. The other two ladies who made ED did it in the same month as me, and we were so happy to have Canada represent finally. We were putting our name on the map.
While I truly do love my business, and the fact that I am making more money than I did at my well paid salary job, I still started to wonder, how is this supposed to tie into my life? Why am I here? What is my purpose? I'm not religious by any means, but I watch enough Oprah and Dr. Phil to know that if you want to be happy and successful you need to find out what it is you really love to do and do it. I know I love my job, but wasn't sure how it tied into the bigger picture.
A few years ago I had a realization. Women can be bitches, we are catty, mean, competitive, really, only a woman can become worst enemies with her best friend. Women see another woman who, in their eyes, is prettier, thinner, has more money, and immediately they start tearing her apart. I've been guilty of it myself on numerous occassions. I am a woman.
So then I thought, what would this world be like, if, instead of tearing each other down, we started to build each other up? Women, listen up, we could rule the world if we stuck together. RULE THE WORLD! Half of the shit going on on this planet right now wouldn't be happening if there were more women in power.
I realize now, this is my passion (ironically enough heh heh). I love going to my parties, and telling the ladies there intimate things that can happen with their own anatomy, really, it surprised me at how little some women know about their own bodies. I'm here to tell you, ladies, YOU HAVE A GSPOT! EVERY WOMAN HAS A GSPOT! Do you pee? Yes? Then your gspot is alive and well and waiting for you to come say hello. When I'm talking about these very personal details of their lives with these women, they come alive. Everyone is laughing and joking and some even openly telling stories, some sharing things they've never told another living soul to me in the confidential ordering room. And they walk out of that party feeling connected to the other women in the room, and feeling empowered. Some of these women are finding out what empowerment means for the first time. And I tell them all my little theory about women taking over the universe, and how much stronger we are than we think, and whether they buy products, decide to host a party, become a consultant, they each find a bit more of their inner strength just by opening up and letting down their guard at the party. And hopefully, the next time one of the ladies I've talked to sees another woman with a flatter belly or a nicer handbag, instead of mentally ripping her to shreds, hopefully she'll walk up to her and give her a compliment on being so fit, or having a great sense of style. No matter how thin or how fancy our handbags are, it's always nice to hear it, especially when its sincere and genuine.
My not-so-little Dildo Army now has over 102 'Privates' (hahaha, I couldn't resist that LOL), off selling their own wares, starting their own army, a few already have large armies of their own. There were 10 of us from my team in Vegas, and when we talked about women and empowerment we all got excited, in fact thats basically what the convention was, 3000 women empowering each other and themselves. It was truly awesome.
Yesterday another big first happened in Canada. The first Car Bonus Allowance was achieved by a Canadian. To achieve the car bonus your team has to do $36,000 a month for 4 months in a row. Yesterday, the lucky Canadian who happened to be the first to get to this level was me. ME! And the reason I was able to achieve this is because of the women on my team who share the same viewpoints as me. Women.Help.Women. My team rocks the hizzouse.
Huge party being planned...details to follow.
This morning as I was starting to write this, it was 7:25 am and I set Lola on the coffee table and crept down the hallway, whispered into Rileys room, '5 more minutes, then its time to get up for school', and thought back to when I was working, and waking her at 6am to get her and Carson to daycare so I could get to work by 8am. As I was walking back down the hallway, the creak in the floor woke up Carson, who came and cuddled with me on the couch for 5 minutes before we started on our day. Riley lounged around, eating Cheerios while watching tv, nothing hurried about her. We were slowly enjoying our non rushed morning, as we do every morning. Because we have that one thing that so many people want more of.
June 11, 2006 06:47 PM PDT
Lady, that was a well written bit of wonderfulness. Thank you for sharing YOUR wonderfulness with so many people.
|Melany aka Supermom |
June 5, 2006 07:16 AM PDT
Wow, that's awesome. Written so well. Life sure is good
June 4, 2006 09:02 PM PDT
Cor...I cannot describe to you how inspirational your story is to me....Your unwillingness to compromise .....your drive........its contagious.
Trust me ...if DH didn't have the job he has, I would be one of your "privates" in a heartbeat! ;-)
You rock in your new car!!!!!!
May 31, 2006 02:21 PM PDT
You rock - what a fantastic post. You really have done amazingly...
And I'm all confused now about what you meant on your post on my blog -- about Tiffany??
May 31, 2006 10:56 AM PDT
loved this post. cor. I'm so incredibly happy for you, and for your family. A car bonus! And time to spend together as a family! You really do have a lot going for you.
You should submit this post to magazines as a freelance-written article. It was that good, in fact better, than many of those types of things I read in magazines! :)
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